Being held

So LM has hit the age where if he doesn’t get his way or if he is frustrated he throws a fit. I try not to give into him like when he wants to watch youtube all day long or if he wants to stay in his car seat in the car when I’m ready to go in, but when he get’s
tired/upset/frustrated and wants to be held I tend to give in. However, it makes it really hard to get anything done like put things away or eat. He is getting bigger (I think he weighs around 23-24 pounds) and carrying him all the time is tiring and hurts my back.

Another problem is that when I try to sit down with him while still holding him he throws a fit. He doesn’t want me to sit down with him and hold him. He wants me to keep standing up and to keep moving. If I stop moving and just stand still he fuses when he is in those moods. Hubs disagrees with me and thinks I am babying him. So he refuses to hold him for long periods of time and thinks that I should just let him cry so he will learn that he needs to walk places so LM screams and throws a fit until he tires himself out. I’m on the fence on that one. I do think he needs to learn to walk more, but he is going through a hard time right now transitionnig into his new class (think crying every morning at drop off) so I am indugling him. I also think there must be a reason why he wants to be held so I’m trying to do it when I am able.

I am not sure which is the right thing to do. I have been trying to think of solutions. One idea that came to mind is babywearing. I actually do own a beco gemini, but I never got the hang of it. It’s kinda hard to put on, the buckles are hard to fasten and unfasten, and it tends to hurt my back when I put it on. Me jiggling around and trying to get him in there tends to make things worse, but I think that babywearing is a good solution. Hubs thinks I’m coddling him too much, but I want to try it. So yesterday I found a local babywearing group nearby. They have meetings nearby, but they are always while I”m at work. So I emailed the lady who runs the group near me and she is going to meet up with me and see what she can do to help. I think this will be great because she will hopefully help me figure out what I’m doing wrong and maybe she will bring some other carriers to try to see what I like. Carriers are so expensive it would be great to try some out before I buy and not like it. So *fingers crossed* on that. Anyone else have any other solutions?

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  1. Carli

    I have this problem with Carder too. One of my best solutions so far has been distraction (here, can you put these blocks into the shape sorter while mommy makes dinner?). Another is making him “help” me with something. I use this one to get him to walk into daycare rather than being carried. He now “helps” me open the doors because they are all “too heavy” for me to do it alone. I still have to pick him up to get him into the daycare room, but I consider it a win.
    Of course, there will always be times that nothing but being close to mommy will fix.

    Best of luck with the baby wearing group.

    • These are all good solutions that I am going to try, thanks!

  2. I’ve had to decrease my holding time with Alex significantly, due to my twin pregnancy. She still comes up to me and says “Up” but I now take her by the hand and lead her over to the couch, where I’ll sit and snuggle with her. It doesn’t take a long time, and she seems happy after she gets a little snuggle time, content to run off and play again. But yes, sometimes it turns into fits… Good luck with finding a good carrier – let us know how it goes!

    • I’ve been thinking a lot about you recently! I hope that you and the babies are still cooking and doing well. *hugs*

      I will try the come sit on the couch with me thing, but I’m not sure it will work with him. He is very opinionated lol. I will defintley report back about my meeting with her.

  3. FCblacksheep

    Floyd is the same way. I could never sit with her when she was really bad. Always wanted to keep moving. It mainly happens right when I get home and am trying to make dinner. Up until about 12 months (and a little over), we rocked the bjorn and that seemed to work but she’s too big for it, and honestly, I just thought she was too big for babywearing in general. I might look into this myself. Either that or start a YouTube show called “one handed cooking.”

    I’ve found with Floyd when she’s clingy, it’s usually for a reason. Most nights it’s because she’s too hungry to function. But when we were in the middle of healing from the asthma attack and her eyes got bad and she was feeling generally horrible, she wanted to be held all the time. Could LM be having allergy issues or not feeling well for some reason?

    Also, do you own an exercise ball? Maybe we discussed this before, but I will tell you it’s awesome. I discovered it when Floyd was in rehab because it’s a great way to get them to do tummy time but it also helps with fussiness. These days I sit on it and Floyd sits on me and we bounce up and down. Sometimes she stands on it in front of me while we bounce. Works the thighs and makes her laugh. It’s the only way we can do the nebulizer anymore.

    Good luck and report back. I want to know what type of carrier you choose.

    • Hey! I do not own an exercise ball, but I have been thinking about getting one for myself because that is how I am able to do sit ups. After my c-section I am not able to manage a sit up with my back flat on the floor. So maybe this is just another reason to look into one. I bet LM would love playing with it too, he is such a daredevil.

      The lady I spoke with said that LM isn’t too old to babywear. I don’t know what age is, but she said she had worn her four year old (I think that was his age) when they were in nyc. So we shall see. I need to email her about setting up a time to meet, but I haven’t yet. I will definitley let you know how it goes. Hub’s still thinks that since he can walk I shouldn’t be wearing him. I still want to look into it because when he is tired/fussy/sick he does still want to be held and because I just pulled a muscle in my shoulder/side and it hurt a lot from holding him after he threw a fit.

      LOL on one handed cooking. I have given up cooking nice meals at night – I used to cook a lot more with real ingredients that needed chopping and slicing. Now days we mostly cook stuff that is already prepped so all we have to do is stick it in the oven/microwave it or something that takes less than 20 minutes or more than an hour or so and I can just stick it in the oven and forget it. I don’t have the time/energy for anything else.

      LM is defintley going through something. He is having trouble adjusting to his new classroom where the kids are older, he is probably more active, and there are different teachers. He also has been sick recently with an ear infection, then a virus, and I am pretty sure he has environmental allergies like his dad. His doc has me keeping him on pulmocort for the rest of may because she said that is when allergy season is over. She said that as of now since he has had so many issues with his lungs and he is using a nebulizer right now he technically does have asthma, but she said it might be just because he is little. She said by three when kids are older/bigger many kids have their lungs become the right size and they grow out of it. *fingers crossed*

  4. Davie is in a tantrum phase, too. It’s been hard. It’s hard to know the line between meeting her needs and being in charge. It’s funny – one of the things that will upset her, too, is if I get her out of the car seat when she wants to stay and play with the straps. Yet, if I buckle her in to go somewhere, she fusses that she’s “stuck.” Go figure.

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