Friday

I went in this morning for blood work and ultrasound at 8am. They took three vials of blood including a cbc which the lady says checks my liver function. I then had my ultrasound with one of the actual RE’s that I haven’t met before. They did not see anything yet. It is probably too early to see anything. She said that the progesterone levels really concern them and that ectopic pregnancies can be really dangerous so they are watching me close. They don’t know which way it’s going to go. I cried after the ultrasound. All I kept hearing was doom and gloom. I know they are medical people who have to tell me the risks and the worst case scenario, but I just want to hear that I have a chance.

I went home and curled up in bed with my cat and watched crap on tv. Waiting is hard. I can’t stand that I have to wait all day for these results each time I go through this. They finally called at 1:30pm and my hcg did go up. It didn’t quite double, but it was kinda close. I went from 272 to 518. Does it have to completely double each time or can it be close like that? The progesterone went down one point. That makes me nervous. She said that they are not going to do anything with my progesterone now, until they know it’s a pregnancy in the right spot. They don’t want to support a pregnancy in my tube. Once they figure that out then they will probably change the progesterone I am on because as you guys said it doesn’t show up in the blood work very well.

She said that I will come back on sunday to have more blood work. She said that maybe I should stick around and wait for the results since they are only open a few hours each day on the weekend. She said if my beta does not rise appropriately then they probably would want me to give me the shot that kills the pregnancy. Oh god, I really hope that I don’t have to have that shot. I know that everyone keeps saying that I should be happy that I got pregnant and it proves that I can get pregnant, but I just want to stay pregnant and have this work out. I don’t want to have to go through another crazy cycle shooting myself up 65 times and go through all the stressed out emotions of that. She said that when your hcg level gets to about 1200 then we should be able to see something in the uterus if there is something there. If my numbers keep doubling that will be tuesday. So she said I will probably have another ultrasound on tuesday if the sunday numbers rise and see what we see. She said even if the numbers are rising and good, but they don’t see anything in the uterus when they should be able to be then they still consider that ectopic and will end the pregnancy. Gah. I can’t believe I have to go through this waiting up and down stressful game again for two, possibly four more days. This is so hard.

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8 Comments

  1. FCblacksheep

    Oh sweetie, I’m hoping so much for you. I don’t want you to have go through all of this. I don’t know much about it but it seems like your hcg numbers are really good, which is important. I know they have to be straight with you but I hear you about wanting to hear something positive, anything at all. I believe this can happen. Thinking of you, your hubby, and that little bean. I want you to be the story they tell to another patient down the line to give her a little bit of hope.

  2. Nic

    I am so sorry it is such a crap ride for you.

    It nearly doubled, that is good!

    I would not have that shot to end the pregnancy until you have had a high detail ultrasound by a good ultrasound tec. I followed a blog of a girl who had a very simular early pregnancy to you, she had the shot and then it turned out it was just a slow developer and it was the wrong decision. She is obvioudly extremely upset.

    This comment was not to give you false hope, but more to make sure every avenue is explored first before you take do anything hasty.
    I hope it does not come to this and it is a realy pregnancy!!
    x

  3. That doubling time is good! The average doubling time is 48-72 hours when your HCG is under 1200. That’s also great news about your progesterone!

    The waiting is horrible. I know. Try and do the best you can to hang in there.

    Also, FWIW, *if* your HCG doesn’t double, I wouldn’t want the shot right away. Bodies can do odd things during pregnancy and it’s great that your body has responded well to the progesterone so far.

  4. Oh honey, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all these mixed emotions and constant waiting. I have hope! I really really hope that your little bean can find it’s way and make your dreams cone true xx

  5. What a crap ride you’ve been on! Don’t give up, it certainly sounds like this pregnancy has a chance.

  6. Tammy

    I am wondering why they would even think it was ectopic at this point.

  7. jc

    I’ve been thinking about you and hoping everything is ok in there. I’ll be thinking of you Sunday. I hope you get some good news soon so you can really celebrate this. ((hugs))

  8. thinking about you and hoping all is going well. 🙂

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