Still swimming

So today is 8 dpo and I am still here. I really don’t have any symptoms at all except I’m starting to really break out on my face. That’s most likely the progesterone though. I keep thinking about all the IF girls who kept saying that they weren’t pregnant, didn’t feel anything, and then found out they were. Last night I could not sleep with lots of thoughts swirling around in my head. I was convinced that this cycle was a bust and very pissed. This cycle was the best I have ever had, if I can’t get pregnant with this, can I get pregnant?

This morning I’m feeling a little better, but still discouraged. I have started thinking about the next cycle. What do I want to do the next cycle? I’m not sure. Is it worth going through another cycle of doing the same thing even when I have done a bunch of injectable cycles? Though adding the lupron and the low dose hcg seemed to really help. The husband thinks that I should see if I can replicate this current cycle since I did so well. I am leaning towards that, but not looking forward to another 53 shots. I also wonder if I should just suck it up and do ivf. I’m scared though of ivf, of the egg retrieval especially, and a bit about the transfer. I am also scared of having that many follicles in me and higher doses of the medicine. I always thought that I am not getting pregnant because of a hormonal thing, because pcos screwed up my hormone levels. Maybe it is also something else. When you do your egg retrieval and wait three days or so to see what grade your eggs are does that tell you if you have an egg problem? How do you figure that out? I don’t know.

It’s time to get off the computer and go to work. I hope that I am able to stop thinking about my lack of symptoms or how I’m pretty sure this cycle is a bust. Hopefully I will be super productive at work and the day will pass quickly.

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17 Comments

  1. Nic

    Do not give up yet!

    The transfer is nothing to worry about, same as an IUI I think. The egg retrieval was bad for me, but only because I have such severe endometriosis. You may not need to worry about this as in a few days you may be getting a BFP!!
    x

  2. EC

    I hope you don’t even have to worry about what to do next! Try not to get discouraged…even if you don’t get a bfp this cycle, the fact that things went so well is a BIG positive!

  3. AL

    Don’t give up hope, LFL!! still hopeful for u!

  4. FCblacksheep

    While it’s always good to prepare, you’re nowhere near a place where you need to be thinking about next cycle. You are still very much in the game this month. And I kid you not, I swear every BFP I’ve heard of in the last few months was followed by a complete lack of symptoms, so I wouldn’t worry on that front.

    In the event this cycle didn’t work, which, again, there’s no reason to suspect it didn’t, I don’t think you should look at it as “if I can’t get pregnant this cycle, I’ll never get pregnant.” You did have an awesome cycle and it wasn’t just pure luck. You found a combo that your body really responded to, very well in fact, so I think replicating that for a cycle or two would be the best way to go.

    Still super jazzed for you. Don’t give up!

  5. LTB

    Don’t worry about lack of symptoms! Lots of people have NONE! I feel great about this cycle for you! Everything looked awesome! What day is your beta?
    LTB

    • This coming wednesday, the 22nd.

  6. Hey! I always feel like, at 8dpo, our bodies should send us an email whether it worked or not, because what is the point in wondering for another week if we are just being delusional that it worked?! Ha! Anyway, I know how it feels to waver back and forth at this point in the 2ww (I’m 7dpo, myself). Hang in there with me! Hopefully we’ll both get the surprise of our lives!

    I don’t know if they grade the eggs in IVF, but they do grade the embryo’s, and from that they extrapolate egg quality (from my understanding of our IVF cycle). I wouldn’t worry about the embryo transfer- it is just like an IUI like the previous commenter said. The egg retrieval is more involved, but you will get through it, if that’s where you feel like you need/want to go. First let’s see what this cycle brings!

    • I would love it if my body would send me an email. An yes, you should be my 2ww buddy 🙂

  7. Don’t give up! I know how hard it is to stay positive, but it’s still too early to know. The 2WW is torture and it’ll definitely play games with your head and your emotions.

    IVF will definitely tell you more about your embryos and the quality, but at the same time, any information you get from an IVF cycle is not definitive. As my doctor said, IVF is the best solution, but it’s also the best diagnostic tool.

  8. Mrs. A is right about extrapolating egg quality from embryo quality. They can’t really tell much about egg quality — apparently the bad ones look the same as the good ones. But once you have embryos they CAN grade those and usually if they’re not so great it means poor egg quality rather than sperm. That being said, my embryos didn’t look so great and you see where I am now!

    HOWEVER!! Don’t give up! You have the best chance ever with this cycle! Everything was in your favor and I am so, so hopeful that it worked. You are over halfway to your beta now … I know this is the hardest part of the wait where we all over-analyze every symptom, but hang in there, you are getting so close. Praying hard for you to get your BFP! *hugs*

  9. Don’t count yourself out yet. We still have a whole week of waiting! Ugh.

  10. when i had my retrieval it was no big deal. i wasn’t even knocked out for it because no one told me not to drink anything so i couldn’t be put under. i was sedated heavily. all of my eggs came out immature, so at that point i had not so great eggs. and unfortunately i had to go thru ivf to figure out that my eggs don’t like to mature. this time we have an emphasis on maturity. and i’m telling you , i do less shots than you do. I have to say i don’t understand your protocol at all for this cycle, can you point me to an entry that explains it fully?

  11. Hey there. I guess that I could technically test next Wednesday too (my RE doesn’t do an initial beta on IUIs – they only do it once there’s a BFP, I think). There’s nothing prohibiting it. But if it were negative my RE’s office would just tell me to keep on the progesterone and test again in 3 days. They don’t like taking people off of it until well past your period is normally due (17 days post 2nd IUI). I haven’t decided yet if I’ll test at the 14 day mark. I tested early last time and it just stressed me out more.

    • Ah ok. Well don’t stress yourself more! I have had a beta at my RE’s office even when on clomid. I guess they just do it for everything.

  12. Easier said than done, but try not to worry, yet. I am like you, always thinking of the next cycle, its unfortunate. It sounds like your pretty strong, I can’t imagine you having too much difficulty with the added pieces of IVF, of course I haven’t completed my cycle yet, so I am sort-of talking out of my butt! But, I think if you need to you could. But hopefully, you won’t need to! Good luck and think fertile thoughts!

    • Thanks and thanks for thinking I am strong 🙂 I try, but it doesn’t always happen.

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