Stick ticker

While talking to a friend online this afternoon I thought of something that might help make all of these injections fun. I created a stick ticker. Basically I’m going to track how my sticks I get through this cycle and see what the number ends up being. I figure with my long cycles and three pokes a night once I start the follistim it could get high. So I’m going to see how high it gets and you all can follow my numbers. You can see my tracker on the right side of this blog entry.

The other day I came out about my infertility to a friend of mine. She is a friend of mine from elementary school that I talk to on facebook. I came out to her because she has fought and won a battle with cancer and has been very open and brave about sharing what was going on with her. While talking to her I found out that she actually did a few cycles of clomid. Small world. The clomid didn’t work for her and they were about to go to ivf when she found out she was pregnant and had her son. She was very nice about it and said if I ever need to talk or whatever she is there. Very nice. I told another person a while ago who did get pregnant through ivf and she was supportive as well. However, after my initial telling them, the talking stopped. It’s not that we aren’t talking to each other, just the topic of IF never comes up. I’m not sure what I expected and I guess it’s good they aren’t asking every other day, but I don’t know. *shrugs*

My mother just got back from visiting my cousins wife to celebrate their daughters first birthday. This is the woman who blogged all about her pregnancy and set it up so that each entry was sent to my inbox. I know she didn’t mean anything by it, but ugh that was hard. I was very cranky when I knew that was coming up. It was a year since that child was born, and I still wasn’t pregnant. Not fun. However, today while talking to my mother she told me what she learned. My mother said that she told my mom that they tried for a year and didn’t get pregnant. Then she tried a couple of cycles of clomid and kept getting cysts. She was told she could have one more try with clomid, but after that she had to do something else because of her big cysts. This is when she got pregnant with her daughter. While it’s interesting that she also had to go through infertility she still only had to do clomid.

I still feel myself jealous because she did get pregnant and had the first grandchild on this side of the family. However, it makes me feel a little better. It also helps that her daughter is getting older now. I have less issues with cute babies and especially so when they are older. I thought about emailing her and telling her that I am going through the same thing, but I’m not sure. I know she would be super supportive and nice, but *shrugs* I’m just not sure if I’m ready Another part of me wants to come out on facebook and just say hey, we are trying to get pregnant and have been having issues, but I don’t think I’m that brave.

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10 Comments

  1. Cutie new blog design. Love!

    I hate this in me, but I too have the tendency to feel envious of the women who wrapped this up with Clomid. If only. So happy for them, but yeah, if only.

    Great attitude on the injections!!! I was doing 3 a night too (low-dose HCG, gonal-F and ganirelix). I’m hoping that since your dosing has been tweaked and you’re taking three awesome meds (!), you won’t have to cycle nearly as long this time. xo

    • I didn’t realize you were doing three a night as well! How did it go? I really hope your right and this makes my cycle shorter.

  2. FCblacksheep

    I have the same thoughts about people who get pregnant with Clomid and I hate it, but I can’t stop myself. I’m jealous. That’s crazy right? Jealous of someone who had to take Clomid? Anyway, I’m so happy your friends took it well; I know exactly what you mean about mentioning it but never talking about it again. I’ve found that the friends I came out to kind of wait for me to mention something first. I think they’re trying to do the “hey, we’re cool with it but we don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or weird” thing, which is comforting in its own right. I’ve thought about the Facebook thing too.

    Oh, and for what it’s worth, I think you’re very brave.

  3. I wasn’t brave enough to say that on facebook also … it’s hard. I think the stick counter is a great idea, too. I love your new blog header!

  4. Oh my gosh. I don’t think I could ever come out on Facebook. That would just be too public for me. Partly probably because so many people that are friends of mine on facebook are not REALLY friends of mine, if you know what I mean. I don’t feel like sharing something so personal with mere acquaintances… but, hey, more power to you if you can do it!!

  5. I love the ticker! Such a brilliant idea!

    I think I am an oversharer. I tell everyone about my IF woes, and I am ashamed to admit I take pleasure in releasing all the gory details when it’s someone who gives me the whole “my friend had trouble and then she stopped trying and relaxed and it happened…” line. I think I need to learn a little editing, at the very least. I really admire your ability to keep it under wraps and only share with a select few.

    • An I admire you for being able to tell lots of people 🙂

  6. I’m very glad the people you have told have been supportive. I wonder if they don’t bring it up because they’re not sure you want to talk about it all the time. I hope they will be there for you if you need them. Can we place bets on your number of sticks?

    • Haha. sure you can place bets. The more the merrier 🙂

  7. cute stick ticker!

    i just started coming out too! it feels good, right? it’s surprising how many people are going through what we’re going through. don’t worry about not having anything more to talk about. maybe they don’t want to bring it up because they’re both on the “other side.”

    i understand the jealous among family. i’ll be the first on my mom’s side because my older cousins aren’t having kids and my brother is single (let’s hope he stays single AND childless), but on my DH’s side his younger brother beat us to the punch. i’m okay with it though because they had FIVE miscarriages before they got a sticky one. still stings a little though. but on the other hand, i kinda like that we don’t have to pave the way. i kinda like that babies will be old news by the time we have one. that way our lil one won’t be the sole focus of the grandparents.

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