I am glad today is over. Today in itself wasn’t bad, it was just frustrating on many levels. I warn you in advance this is a long entry and I hope you all do get to the end. But before I go into it all, if you are reading on google reader or on something else and not actually reading at my blog come check me out. Alison from Giggly Girl Designs helped me to redo my blog. She made that great header up there from a story I gave her. I told her that I wanted something with a turtle because of my long cycles and I told her that I was thinking about the story of the turtle and the hare racing. The hare is always laughing at the turtle and always ahead of him in the race. But in the end, the turtle wins the race. I hope I get to be like that turtle in the end. Isn’t it cute?
Ok back to my day…
First of all it was hot. I was in my office for most of today so it wasn’t that bad, but I think I should have turned up my AC some. I am also frustrated that I didn’t get as much done today as I wanted too. I came in 30 minutes late today because I wanted to try a Zumba class at night instead of the one I go to on thursday afternoons with out having to bum around for long periods of time. The class doesn’t start until 5:25pm and I am normally home or done with my exercising by then so working that late was hard. But by the time it was time for me to go to class I was dreading it. I put on my exercise clothes to get myself in the mood and even drove over there, but each time I saw an exit out of where I work I was like well I could go home. In the end I decided to skip class tonight. I went to class last night and was tired and I didn’t eat enough today which didn’t help things. I felt bad about it, but I think it was the right thing to do. I am not sure how good I would do in class with not much energy.
I had my consult with the nurse today at my RE’s office to learn how to do the lupron and hcg shots and to get my calendar. She layed it all out when I was doing each shot and then I started to realize something. When I start my follistim I will be injecting myself every night three times. One shot for follistim, one for lupron, and one for hcg until I am ready to trigger, which I better get to this time. I knew we were adding more drugs, but I didn’t think we were continuing the lupron for so long. I’m nervous that my cycle will go on forever like it normally does and I will be injecting myself three times forever. My stomach was sensitive enough after injecting for three weeks with one shot.
The stinky thing is my husband is out of town on business. I never sleep well when he is gone. Guess when the shots start? Thursday. This means I will be doing my first two Lupron shots all by myself. While this isn’t a huge deal and I think I can do it, I’m nervous. My husband has always done all my follistim shots for all of my cycles. I have never had to do one on my own. I guess now is the time to learn, but ugh. I hope I don’t flinch too much.
While at the consult today I asked about exercise. I mentioned I joined the fitness center and have been doing exercise classes and such. She said that once I start the follistim that I probably should stop exercising. I asked even the treadmill? An she said well if you have more than one follicle, than probably. I understand what she is saying, and I am going to listen to her because this is what I want and I’m paying all this money and putting all this effort into it. However, it really frustrates me. I have just started getting into this exercise routine – working out four days a week – well except for today, and now in about two weeks or so I will need to stop. I will get out of the routine of working out and lose all of my momentum. I am feeling like what is the point of keeping going now if I just have to stop soon anyways? The only good thing about this is that I have cut way down on my carbs and can continue on that, but it’s still frustrating.
I also think my body is confused. I finished the last pack of birth control pills on saturday. Then on sunday I started a new pack. I think my body was expecting to have a period and when it isn’t it’s like huh? I feel like I am getting some of the emotional crazies from my would be period. Has anyone had anything similar?
What else? I got invited to my first baby shower. I don’t want to go. It will be baby baby baby as you all know and I’m not sure if I can handle it or not. It is for the girl pregnant with twins in my small group. They were trying to coordinate something between us and another group and I thought I had gotten out of it when I told them I couldn’t make the date they had picked for everyone. However, most people couldn’t make the date so the person organizing it is going to try to do something small with just the people from my group. But my group is small. There are only two women excluding the pregnant woman and me. She is now trying to pick a day that the three of us can do something for her since we are her small group. How do I get out of this? I don’t think I can. I can’t say every day is bad. An I wanted to quit this group months ago. Ugh.
So yea. I think I’m going to take it easy tonight and watch a movie. I know I am behind again on reading you all and I’m sorry. I will try to catch up again soon.
- Posted in: Infertility