First off, thank you so much for all of your great comments and words of support. They meant a lot to me and really made me feel better about my anxiety. Let me start this entry with a spoiler – I actually went through it and survived. The process itself was a bit of a journey. An yes, this is going to be a long entry.
Last night I was nervous about the upcoming sono. I kept thinking about it and I kept waking up thinking about the catheter going through my cervix. I was convinced that it would hurt and that would be one of the worst parts. So I didn’t sleep that great. I hope I sleep better tonight.
Today I worked until 1pm. I tried to stay busy and not think about it, but it didn’t go so well. I kept thinking about it and I was really nervous. I got home about 1:30pm. I changed into comfy clothes and ate lunch. At 2pm I took two extra strength Tylenol and my 5mg of Valium. I was really nervous to take the Valium as I have never taken it before. I was worried I would feel weird, that my stomach would be upset, and I just didn’t know how I would feel. At first it made my stomach a little unsettled, but after a bit I think I came to like Valium. It made me feel a tiny bit shaky, kinda like I was just waking up from a nap, and a bit goofy. My husband enjoyed some of the things that came out of my mouth. It really took the edge of my nervousness which was great. If I have to do something similar again I really want the Valium again. I told the nurse I like Valium and she got a kick out of it.
My appointment was supposed to be at 3pm, but I don’t think we actually started until 3:15pm. Luckily, I didn’t get the mean nurse, I got a really nice nurse who was patient and helped me through it. Can I tell you I really hate speculums? They make me feel heavy and a bit crampy. I was really nervous about the catheter, but it wasn’t really that bad. She had some issues getting it in the right spot though because she was trying to be so careful with not opening the speculum too much so it wouldn’t hurt me. She made a point of saying at this point that I was doing a really good job because this was the farthest I have ever gotten with doing this stuff. I never have successfully had a pap in this office.
She eventually got the catheter in the right place and it really started cramping. I had heard that if you push the saliene in slowly it will hurt less so I asked her to do that. She was really nice and listened to what I needed and gave me breaks in between if I needed them. I did really well with her swabbing my cervix with the iodine which I wasn’t sure how I would do. I guess I can do paps ok now. Once she started squirting the stuff in it started really cramping. It hurt A LOT. She was trying to go slow with the saliene, but it started going through one of my tubes instead of staying where it needed to go. So we now know that at least one of my tubes is wide open since it kept stealing the saliene. Because of this she started doing the saliene quicker to just get it done. I was writhing at this point. I was not happy. Major cramping and I started to feel nauseous. Drinking little sips of water (which was hard since I was lying down) and a cold compress on my forehead helped some. It didn’t help that it was really hot out today and the air conditioning broke in the office. So hot. I was so glad to be done.
So final result? I have a small polyp at the very top of my uterus. I was like ah crap. I asked the nurse if that meant that I needed to cancel this cycle or if I had to have surgery to remove it. She said maybe I am not sure, I need to talk to the RE. So while I was trying to get back to normal she went and talked to my RE. When she came back she said that he didn’t think that the tiny polyp was the reason I wasn’t getting pregnant, that I could continue with this cycle, and I think he said I don’t need to have the lap or whatever it is to remove it just yet. Thank goodness. I’m kinda nervous about what he is going to say after this cycle, but I am going to try to take one step at a time. I asked about my lining. She said that we would have to watch it closely and see what it does this cycle. I asked if I could try some things I read on the net like viagra, estrace, or estrogen patches. She said viagra doesn’t work and that they normally use estrogen patches for ivf only. She said we will just watch it close and that I may need to sit down with the RE to discuss options with that. I just let it go since I was still cramping.
After she left I just lied in the room for a bit. I was still really uncomfortable and feeling nauseous. Thank goodness my hubby was there. He helped a lot. I was feeling really shaky and icky. I was eventually able to sit up after feeling major cramping for like 10 min. Having some of the stuff run out helped a lot. He helped me put my underwear and shorts back on and then I slowly walked out of the room. I needed to do a lot of sitting because I still felt really shaky and out of it. After sitting on the bench a bit downstairs while waiting for it to stop pouring I started to feel better. That was maybe 15-20min after the procedure. The major cramping and nauseousness made me really nervous about the hsg. I think there is something wrong with my brain. I mean I should be totally psyched and proud of myself that I got farther than I have ever before with gyn procedures and actually completed the sono. However, my brain keeps focusing on how now I need to go through it again with the hsg and that it might be more painful. Maybe I just need some time and space away from thinking about the pain. Maybe they will just put me out for it. I’m not sure. I am happy and proud of myself, I just don’t feel the relief and happiness I thought I would.
We went out to dinner to celebrate getting through it. We went to one of my favorite chinese buffet places. When I checked my pad I had some blood on it and when I wiped I also had some blood. I think this is normal. Question for all you guys who have had the sono and iui’s. How is the sono different from an iui? The nurse said that it is so much easier and quicker than a sono. I think she said the catheter is smaller and you don’t have as much cramping because all they are injecting is a bit of sperm not a lot of saliene. Is this correct? Are there any other differences? I may actually try an iui this cycle. We will see.
- Posted in: Infertility