It’s always me

I went to the eye doctor again today for a follow up visit. Those who have been reading me for a while know that I have had eye issues lately on top of all my infertility crap. My eye doctor and a specialist I have been to a few times say I have Map-dot-fingerprint dystrophy, and an odd case at that. They say my eye issue doesn’t really follow the normal form of it and doesn’t seem to be responding to the drops at all. My vision in my affected eye (right one) is really blurry and sees really crappy. My left eye takes over for it and I see ok. Today my doctor says that I don’t really seem to be responding to the drops. It’s gotten a little better, but not that much. My vision is not improving. He says that I have superficial scars on my cornea and one thing to look into is that laser vision thing that people do when they don’t want to wear glasses. This flares up my anxiety with doctors and makes me not want to do it. Why do I always have to deal with all this crap? I am barely over 30, I”m not that old. I’m afraid to get old and see what more crap I have to deal with. Right now I feel like I just need to get through my sono and this cycle, and hsg next cycle before I can even think about having a procedure with lasers on my eyes. Have any of you guys had this procedure? I know I need to do some googling and I’m probably more emotional now since I just got home. Next time I see him (which isn’t until August) he is also going to have me try “hard” contacts to see if that corrects my vision any. I have never used contacts before, I always have had glasses, so I have no idea how these differ from normal contacts. More googling I suppose. So I guess I can get maybe two cycles done before I have to think about the laser thing. Hopefully.

It also doesn’t help that my body is gearing up for AF. I can feel her getting ready and I’m probably a bit more sensitive than normal. I have that feeling I get when she is starting to head my way and a bit of cramping here and again. I’m worried it’s going to be a heavy cycle because I had 6mm lining in my past cycle and never got a period and now I am on bc pills. So that should be fun.

Bleh. I’m going to try to avoid the situation and get some work done from home.



  1. Jem

    I had laser surgery a couple of years ago. It has be quite miraculous. I used to not be able to read the alarm clock when I work up in the morning and now I see almost perfectly. I do have glasses – sun and regular – to correct my vision a smidge. When I had the surgery done I didn’t really have any anxiety. However, during the recovery time when everything was blurry I freaked out and got the heebie-geebies after the fact.

    If I were you, I would start with contact lenses and go from there. Actually, getting this all sorted BEFORE you do more ART is a good thing.

    Let’s just say that my HSG hurt a TON, especially in comparison to the laser surgery, which didn’t hurt at all. There was some weird sizzling sounds as the laser did its thing, tho.

    All in all it was a very positive experience.

    • We aren’t going to be trying the contact thing until August I believe after I do some more eye drops so I have at least two cycles I think before I at least try that. Thank you very much for your experience with the laser surgery, though hearing about sizzling sounds did not help that much.

  2. Sorry about the eye problems – that sounds really annoying. Having anxiety from doctors myself, I can empathize. I have heard that the laser correction is wonderful and pretty easy. A blogger who was afraid of it jumped in and got it done and then wrote up a post on her experience. I’ll look for it and pass it on if I find it. I also have a coworker that had it done a few years ago and she said it was easy. I’ve always wanted laser correction but I just can’t bring myself to do it – too scared :/

  3. I know what you mean about not being able to deal with any other medical issue besides the infertility. My doc has been trying to get me to get a mole removed and I keep ignoring it because I just can’t deal.

    I am about as close as you can get to being legally blind and able to wear contacts. I think the only difference between hard and soft lenses is that the hard lenses require a bit more care and cleaning and they don’t come in disposable form. I am not a 100% sure but thats what I think. I would definately try the contacts first before giving yourself something else major to deal with. YUCK!

  4. Jessica

    I had laser surgery a year and a half ago…it was one of the best things I have done for myself. The procedure itself is a little uncomfortable but only lasts for 15 minutes. Then it feels like there is sand in your eyes, and its a little blurry for a few hours afterwards. The next morning I could see everything better than 20/20. I am a big advocate for laser surgery!!!

  5. Sorry to hear about your vision. Hopefully come August the contacts will help but if not I am sure the laser surgery will. I have not had it done myself but I have heard great things about it and have a few family members who have done it with great success.

    I have the same thoughts that you mentioned about not being “old” yet and what in the world am I going to have to deal with when I am really old. Ugh. Hopefully they will have robot body replacements by then, LOL! KIDDING!

  6. My father in law had the laser sugery, and for the most part it worked for him, but I think if you do alot of reading for your job (like he does), it loses its effectiveness over a while, or something? (He used to wear glasses for long distance seeing, and now (after the surgery), he has to have glasses to read up close.) I’m so sorry you’re being bombarded with the eye thing and impending AF. Hang in there!

  7. hollytraveling

    Sorry about your eyes, and for impending AF. Hope it won’t be too bad. Oh, and I never had the surgery but I know someone who has and it went perfectly for her. I think the key is you have to be an ideal candidate. Or at least that’s what I hear.

  8. I HATE when things just keep piling up on top of each other. Sorry I don’t know much about the laser surgury or hard contacts. I wear soft contacts, so if you need any advice on that, I’m there for you.

    Hope AF isn’t as awful as you think she’ll be. Sending you lots of good vibes! xo

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