My husband’s super power

I had to wait until after 5pm to find out that my beta was negative. I knew that it would be, but still that is a long time to wait. The lady who called was my favorite and she reminded me that my RE only wants me to have two more follistim cycles and then he wants me to do the lap/hyst. I told her I remembered that, but that I wanted to schedule the sono to see if I could avoid having to have surgery. She said ok and said that we could do a baseline and a sono at the same time. We would do it on day four of my cycle. All I have to do is call on the first day of my period. I have been thinking that if I do well on the sono I might just go ahead and do the hsg, but I’m not sure yet. So I didn’t mention it when she mentioned the baseline. I asked about getting some Valium like my RE had mentioned and she said she could write me a script for it, but she couldn’t call it in since it’s a controlled substance. Works for me.

I’m a bit scared. I’m first of all sad that I wasn’t pregnant even though I knew it would be negative after I started spotting on saturday. Second, I’m scared of this test, and hope that I can do it. Last week I was like I’m ready let’s do this, I”m going to do awesome. Now I’m nervous again. I know I am making it a bigger deal than it needs to be, but that’s just how my brain works. I want to go through it, get the information from this test, and not have to worry about it again. I’m not sure if I am going to take the Valium or not. I like knowing that I have it if I need it, but I don’t want to have to rely on taking it to get through similar things. One other reason I want to do the sono is to prove to myself that it’s no big thing so that I can also do IUI’s when it comes to that time in my cycle. Maybe that will also increase my chances. I also don’t not want to take it and then really need it if my nerves get the best of me. So I dunno yet. An yes, I’m going to have my hubby with me. The nurse who called me said she wouldn’t give me the valium unless there was someone to drive me home. I’ve never been on it before so I don’t know what kind of reaction I’m going to have. They said I could do a late afternoon appointment if I needed which will make it a lot easier for my hubby to be there and drive me home if need be. Just have to live through a day of work thinking and obsessing about it all day.

An to my title – my husband’s super power is finding me when I need him. Saturday I started spotting while shopping with my mom. I was a little emotional/sad, but trying to hold it in since it was a day with my mom. After we came out of the first store my husband had found us (he knew where we were going) and came over to say hello and gave me a hug. It was really nice having him there for support and to be able to tell him what was happening. Then today, I had to wait forever to get that phone call about my beta. I got the phone call in the middle of the grocery store right before I checked out. I was a little emotional/scared after the call, but I finished checking out and then went outside to my car. My husband had gotten out of work early and knows where I normally park at the store. He parked next to me and found me and was there waiting with a hug. What a good husband. He is able to make me feel better about things, a bit less, nervous, and to laugh a bit. I love him.

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13 Comments

  1. Sorry for the spotting, Follie. But YAY for super-hubbies. ❤

    Renae from Launderlife

  2. Your hubs is the best.

    Sending you tons of (((hugs))) and support on beta day. I believe in my heart that you can make it thru the HSG. Feel free to email me any Qs abt the procedure. xo

    • Right now I’m just doing the sono, but thanks 🙂

  3. I just said a prayer for you…. Glad you have such a wonderful husband!

  4. Yay for the hubs! Mine is pretty good like that, too. It makes the crap like the negative betas (so sorry) slightly more tolerable.

  5. hollytraveling

    That’s quite the super hero power. Sorry it was negative. I know it must have been a bummer even with the spotting.

    As for the test, whenever I get really scared about something, I just tell myself all I have to do is get myself there. I know that sounds silly but once you get in there with your hubby by your side, well then you’re committed and you’ll pull through no matter what. So all you have to do is pack that fear down, not think about it, and get to the appointment. At least that theory works for roller coasters anyway. You can’t step out of the car at the top of the hill.

  6. I’m so sorry the beta was negative. I know everything seems so scary, but in the end (at least for me) the not-knowing was a lot scarier, so I went ahead with everything. ** hugs**

    Plus, you have an awesome-super-power husband to help you through everything and you have us!!

  7. I’m so sorry for your BFN 😦 but really, how super-sweet is your husband?!? What a guy! You’re very lucky to have him, LFL, but I’m sure you already knew that. 🙂

  8. Even though you already knew, it doesn’t make hearing that negative result any less. I’m sorry. I’m glad though that you have steps to take next. Please don’t be hard on yourself about getting worked up about things, tests, etc. To me, even a minor procedure is a “big deal” in IF land.

    Hang in there.

  9. Pie

    I’m so sorry for the BFN. Poop. But I love your DH, you are a lucky girl.

  10. So sorry about the negative, but what an awesome husband!

  11. I’m so so so sorry I took a break from blogging while you were going through all this. I’m sending you so much love right now – I’m sorry about your Beta and the stress of it all. I’m so happy your husband is amazing – you 2 will be amazing parents and I hope that these tests you’re having will bring you closer to that day!!!! xoxoxo

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