Two clicks

I had another monitoring appointment this morning. The lady who can always find my left ovary was doing the scans. I was happy about that. My lining was about the same as last time. She found my right one and my biggest one was 9 x 11 I think. That was the biggest of the bunch. I did have what looked like a bunch of grapes on the right side that were all smaller sized follicles grouped together. She scanned on my stomach to find my left one and pressed really hard. I think she said I have a bunch of really small ones on the right, maybe a 9mm one, but not much of anything. I’m kinda glad my right ovary seems to be the one with the dominantish folly this time. I wonder if the sperm can’t get to the left ovary because it’s so high up and in a weird place. Who knows.

When I got my call back they said I go back on Monday and that I am going up another click on Follistim. I think that takes me to 66. something. He really does take things slowly, but I guess that’s good. I wonder if that will allow me to finally try with two follicles for the first time ever. I see myself slowly going up a click and seeing him every two days or so until my follies really kick into gear. I wonder why I responded so quick last time. Maybe because my body had never had follistim before and was shocked into gear. I’m a little sad that everything is still really small, but I like that they can adjust the levels though to make my body work. I think that only having five days of a pill and then nothing else is not enough for my body. So we wait and see what two clicks does.

I have had something my RE said at my consult on friday stuck in my head and it is kinda bothering me. He said that I’m becoming a legend in his office. I don’t think he meant it in a good way. I asked my husband what he thought my RE meant by that and he said that he thinks he meant that they all know I have high anxiety and that the nurses know about it or have talked about it or something. I told my RE I don’t want to be a legend. I don’t want people talking about me and how much anxiety I have or what I can and can’t do. Now I feel like I’m going to be self conscious about how I act. Though, I can’t change how I act and who I am, so I guess if they are not liking it they can suck it.



  1. Jen

    You’re right; they can completely suck it if they don’t like it! It’s your life and your body!!

  2. Ummm, yeah, I don’t want to be a legend either. Why would they consider you to be a legend anyways? I don’t feel comfortable with people talking about me after I’ve left the office. Now you’re going to be paranoid every time you go in there. Not good. =(

  3. hollytraveling

    Damn right they can suck it! It’s your treatment, you do whatever you have to to feel comfortable. Today I had a notepad of questions clutched to my chest while they went hunting on my ovaries and I made the fellow stay until she answered every single one.

    And I’m going to look at this from another angle. There’s nothing wrong with being a legend. If it was a completely negative thing, he probably wouldn’t have mentioned it in the first place. Keep your head up and keep being you. You’re not going to be happy if you aren’t.

    Oh and good news on the follicles. Everything sounds great.

    • Thanks for this. I needed the little pep talk 🙂 You rock!

  4. Good luck with the follies!! Sounds like everything is going really good. 🙂

    As for being a legend, are you sure it’s because of your anxiety? When I first read that I thought it might be because of something physical (i.e., your left ovary is super hard to find).

    My DH is a doc and for a patient to be a legend in the office because of personality, you have to be a REALLY big pain…usually a drug seeker or a verbally/physically violent or a constant (and I’m talking every day, multiple times a day) complainer. The way I see it, I would think the threshold would be even higher in an REs office because every woman in there is anxious. If we weren’t anxious, why would we even be there spending money and our time? We’d just be sitting at home, eating bon bons, waiting to get knocked up.

    You have every right to be anxious and do not worry because I guarantee, every woman in an REs office is anxious. Keep doing what your doing because you need to be anxious, proactive, and thorough — whatever it takes for us to have that baby!

    • thanks for this. It is neat to hear from a doctor’s point of view 🙂

  5. Totally agree, every woman in an RE’s office is anxious…I’ve definitely physcho dialed my nurse on more than one occasion!! And hope those follies continue to grow, slow and steady…sounds like your RE is definitely trying to accomodate your boday with the adjustements, hoping they do the trick!!

  6. Glad the monitoring went well and try not to beat yourself up about your RE’s comment. I doubt they meant it in a bad way and even if they did – you have every right to be anxious about all this. I am so nervous I can barely remember what I did/said when I was there!

  7. UG!! People need to stinking think before they say ANYTHING. Of course you’re going to overthink what they said. yikes- don’t they know the stress is enough without stupid comments?! Sorry you have to deal with this now 😦

    I’m excited for your this new “click”!!!!!!

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