Thank you all for your comments on my last entry. I appreciate all of you and your comfort and support. I do have to say though that I am a little sensitive about not having the hsg/sono done. Ever since I was young I have had issues going to the normal ob/gyn because I couldn’t tolerate the speculum. Nothing happened, I was just afraid and was never really able to get through those exams. I tried again recently with 1/4 of a xanax in me and I still broke down crying. I did however tolerate the internal ultrasound. My hope is that now that I am more used to the internal exams and with more xanax maybe I will be able to handle things a little better. My point for bringing this up though was to say that I am sensitive to people saying oh, it’s not that bad. I know all of you mean well and I appreciate all of your comments. I just have a big complex about it and it really got to me. I know I may need to suck it up and take a lot of xanax, but it’s still a big thing for me to contemplate. Because I have these fears the procedure is even bigger for me. I think my RE may give me a lap just to see what is going on since I will be knocked out and then he will be able to do the procedures. We will see what happens in our discussion on tuesday.
These past few days have been busy for me. Two of our friends got married this weekend so we had the rehearsal dinner friday night (yum!), the wedding saturday where we had to be there really early for pictures, and then saturday evening my parents stopped by. They had been coming home from a bar mitzvah out of state so they stopped by our place as a break in the trip. It was also my mom’s birthday. It was a really nice visit with my mother. She is the main person I talk to about everything IF besides my husband.
She asked how my latest visit went and I told her what happened. I also talked to her about how frustrating it is to be a late ovulater compared to others. In addition, I pulled out my Navigating IF book and let her read the procedures chapter and the chapter that is about how to respond to people saying stupid things. It was nice to have her read it. She learned a lot and was amazed at how many horrible/stupid things people can say. She was like I would never say some of this stuff and I hope that I haven’t said any of them. She asked how she could help me with this process and even volunteered to help or completely pay for injectables if I do end up going through that route. I’m not sure how we are going to handle it, but she is a good mommy 🙂
- Posted in: Infertility