Thank you all for your comments on my last entry. I appreciate all of you and your comfort and support. I do have to say though that I am a little sensitive about not having the hsg/sono done. Ever since I was young I have had issues going to the normal ob/gyn because I couldn’t tolerate the speculum. Nothing happened, I was just afraid and was never really able to get through those exams. I tried again recently with 1/4 of a xanax in me and I still broke down crying. I did however tolerate the internal ultrasound. My hope is that now that I am more used to the internal exams and with more xanax maybe I will be able to handle things a little better. My point for bringing this up though was to say that I am sensitive to people saying oh, it’s not that bad. I know all of you mean well and I appreciate all of your comments. I just have a big complex about it and it really got to me. I know I may need to suck it up and take a lot of xanax, but it’s still a big thing for me to contemplate. Because I have these fears the procedure is even bigger for me. I think my RE may give me a lap just to see what is going on since I will be knocked out and then he will be able to do the procedures. We will see what happens in our discussion on tuesday.

These past few days have been busy for me. Two of our friends got married this weekend so we had the rehearsal dinner friday night (yum!), the wedding saturday where we had to be there really early for pictures, and then saturday evening my parents stopped by. They had been coming home from a bar mitzvah out of state so they stopped by our place as a break in the trip. It was also my mom’s birthday. It was a really nice visit with my mother. She is the main person I talk to about everything IF besides my husband.

She asked how my latest visit went and I told her what happened. I also talked to her about how frustrating it is to be a late ovulater compared to others. In addition, I pulled out my Navigating IF book and let her read the procedures chapter and the chapter that is about how to respond to people saying stupid things. It was nice to have her read it. She learned a lot and was amazed at how many horrible/stupid things people can say. She was like I would never say some of this stuff and I hope that I haven’t said any of them. She asked how she could help me with this process and even volunteered to help or completely pay for injectables if I do end up going through that route. I’m not sure how we are going to handle it, but she is a good mommy 🙂



  1. Thanks for you input on my BFN and missing period. I was thinking that the prog supps could be the culprit.

    I totally understand what you’re saying about being sensitive to the comments about your further testing. My BFF feels the same as you do about seeing the GYN. Not much makes her feel better about her appointments. Only you know what is right for you. I’m sorry that anyone made you feel bad about not having the tests done. I’m so glad you had some quality time with your mom. Aren’t mom’s wonderful?!?! Thanks again for your input.

  2. What a great mommy you have…what a beautiful role model to have and good resource when you finally get your sweet baby in your arms.

  3. SO GLAD your mom is so supportive, it’s very important to have someone besides your DH like that in your life. I’m glad your cycle hasn’r been canceled yet. I’m suprised the nurse keeps saying how hesitant they are to try other things, like Femara or Progesterone…I think you should push the RE on that…I am NUTSO of BCPs and Clomid was so slow for me it never worked…I did both Femara and Progesterone…GOOD LUCK!

    • They said they don’t really use femara. I don’t know a lot about the uses of progesterone, but I know it’s supposed to help you ovulate and I use ovidrel for that. I also use progesterone suppositories if I ever get the chance to try.

  4. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, it wasn’t intentional.

    • No worries. No one “hurt my feelings” per se. I am just sensitive on the topic and a major scaredy cat.

  5. I’m sorry that you have to deal with your anxiety issues on top of everything else. I sincerely wish you the best in finding a way to manage.

    Your mom sounds amazing!

  6. Ohmygosh. I hope I didn’t make you feel bad about not having the HSG done yet. I really was trying to be supportive! I completely understand your anxiety about those kinds of procedures. I was anxious for weeks before my HSG.

  7. Al

    I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings! I was trying to be encouraging but I didn’t realize the extent of how hard this is for you.

    I’m so glad your mom is so supportive and understanding of what you’re going through.

    I like your new blog background!

  8. Mommie In Waiting

    Sorry if this doesn’t make you feel better about the whole thing, but I agree with you. My first PAP was HORRIBLE and I have been really nervous of any of that ever since. I have had another pap and even a internal sonogram (non IF related) and I still get worried everytime. I’ll be praying for your upcoming procedures. Good luck!

  9. How nice. That sounds like a great weekend. I’m glad that you have someone to talk to about this. It definitely helps, especially when all they do is want to know how best to help. 🙂 If we don’t hear from you before then, just know that I’ll be thinking of you at your appt on Tuesday.

  10. Lin

    So sorry for the HSG drama. It can be scary…and, it’s all relative, you know? Will be praying that it goes wonderfully, however! Sounds like you had a really great conversation with your mom! Awesome!

  11. EC

    It sounds like you had a nice visit with your mom, and it’s great that she is so supportive! Sorry about your fears related to the HSG…I hope you and your RE are able to figure out a way to proceed that you are both comfortable with!

  12. Jessica

    That is very sweet of your mom to offer to pay for your IF treatments. The cost is just one more thing that adds stress to this process.

  13. Thanks for always commenting on my site. It helps lift my spirits. 🙂 I can definitely understand the anxiety. Thinking about you! Glad you have such a great mom– I’m blessed with a mom as a best friend too. Have a great Thanksgiving!!!

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