I have thought about writing this entry for a while, but I was nervous to do so. I wasn’t sure what sort of feedback I would get and what I would get from people searching on the net. I decided to just go for it and add dots so hopefully it’s harder to search for.

I have had issues with low lib.ido for a while in my marriage. It has not been fun and I always feel bad about it. When I started this IF process I brought it up for the very first time to one of the nurse practitioners during one of my appointments. She said that it was most likely because of my PCOS, because my hormone levels are out of whack. She said that to cure it they normally use testosterone (I think that’s what it was, but I don’t remember exactly), but because I was trying to get pregnant I couldn’t use it. When I finally got to try for the first time two cycles ago I was excited, but it was hard for me to be in the mo.od. It also didn’t help that my in-laws were staying with us for three weeks and we had to wait till they went to bed to start so we were both tired. We were supposed to do it within a three day period and only managed the first two days. This bothered me. We haven’t had s.ex since that time though half of that I was getting used to taking Metformin. An that is with a break month in between. I’m just having trouble getting in the m.o.od. I know that I will feel a little better once AF shows, but it won’t be a miracle giver. I’m nervous that I’m going to have the same issues again. I just want to have a normal marriage with a normal and not IF.

An no AF isn’t here yet. I really hope she shows up soon.



  1. Jessica

    I think everyone that has had trouble TTC has gone through this. TTC takes the fun out of sex because it has to be planned and becomes robotic. I have heard that looking at magazines or watching “movies” helps the sex drive…LOL!! I wish you luck and hope that AF shows soon.

  2. I know that you don’t want to hear this, my friend, but Metformin has other side effects that the tummy trouble. You got it: DECREASED LIBIDO. That sucks!

    Can anyone tell me why in the world that a drug that is helpful for some in conceiving would DECREASE your sex drive?? There is something fundamentally wrong with that! 😉 It should have been engineered the other way. LOL.

    I really hope that your weekend goes well and that AF arrives on schedule. Hang in there. 🙂

    • Does it really? Good lord we have no hope lol.

  3. I have the same problem and it totally sucks 😦 and it really affects my husband emotionally and I feel so badly about it.

    “Getting in the mood” is horrible for me – I’m almost never in the mood. Once we get into things I do enjoy it but ugh, starting anything is the worst.

    It’s interesting that your NP says it is related to PCOS. I want a cure!

  4. Jen

    We went through this too (both me AND D, actually). It really took the fun out of things to no longer be spontaneous. sounds totally normal to me!

  5. Nic

    I completely understand where you are coming from. I have the same problems. I am rarely in the mood, especially on these suppresive drugs! My DH described me like the sahara desert and said I am as interested in sex as a fat man is in cabbage!! It hurt to hear him say that but it is true!! I have to find ways to get in the mood and make myself feel like it. Once we get down to the business then I am def in the mood, it is just drumming up the energy!! try buying a sexy outfit or cooking a nice meal, make yourself feel sexy and forget that it is for baby making. There is nothing like feeling like you HAVE to have sex to turn you both off!! Good luck!

  6. That is so so hard. My religion is very strong about no sex before marriage. I followed this rule, but had a very strong sex drive that I was fighting so hard. As soon as I went on bcp and got married, it was like my sex drive went with my single self…GONE. I tried switching to a low dose bpc which didn’t help. Once I went off the pill, my sex drive came back a little bit, but with the stress of ttc, sex is so stressful now and makes it hard to get in the mood because I am so worried about what it will or won’t bring. My husband has also had a very low sex drive for the last year or two and finally got tested and had low testosterone. Once he got put on testosterone supplements his increased quite a bit which has helped me too. When he wants to do it just for fun it makes me want it too. I think the best thing is to have open communication with your DH and make sure he is aware that he needs to make you want it and look forward to it and that he needs to help be creative at finding ways to make it exciting.
    Oh the sex life of an infertile. NOT FUN! Good luck!

  7. Okay, thank God…I thought I was the only one! I use to love to make love with my husband and after our first miscarriage, everything changed. I blamed it on the loss and then sex was never the same. I just wasn’t into it. I was diagnosed with PCOS after my first miscarriage because my body started going out of whack! My poor hubby, I am never in the mood and I think the only reason we do it so often is because I’m desperate for a baby because otherwise I could care less!

  8. Al

    I used to have no problem getting in the mood, but tat has changed a lot since TTC. At first it was fun, now it’s very scheduled and it just takes a lot more concentration for my mind to, umm, stay on task. It always wants to think about are we doing this right and not really enjoying it. And that sucks!

    Know that you’re not alone in this! I think communication is key, like other commenters have said. Good luck! And I hope AF shows up soon!

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