So I had my first monitoring visit this morning after taking 100mg of clomid. I came away from it feeling kind of sad. She saw some follicles, but they were small. She didn’t want to tell me the exact amount because she said that my ovaries looked like PCOS ovaries – lots of small ones. She said that last time when my cycle was canceled it was looking good for a bit, but then my estrogen levels went down and they stopped growing. She said that I might possibly be clomid resistant and that possibly next cycle she would talk to the RE about me doing injectables so that I will get higher FSH levels which makes the follicles grow more. I asked her, “So you don’t think that this cycle will work?” She said that no, she wasn’t saying that. She was just trying to plant the seed in my head so that I have a next step just in case this doesn’t work. So she said that I would get a call later today to tell me when I’m going to come in next. She said it probably would be Tuesday. They are going to give me some time to have my follicles grow and see what is up.
I can’t help but feel sad about this. I mean I know that this cycle could still work and she was just giving me a Plan B, but it makes me feel like this cycle probably won’t work. It also makes me feel sad in that I am not going to be able to just take the magic clomid and be cured of infertility and not have to think about other procedures. I am nervous just about giving myself the Ovidrel shot if I ever do get to try. How would I do with having to inject myself with drugs? I’m sure I would get used to it and get better at it, but ugh just another thing. Another thing that scares me is laparoscopy surgery. I wasn’t able to have the HSG and the sono because I have issues with the speculum and other things. Last time I talked to my RE he said since I couldn’t do those tests to make sure my tubes and stuff are ok that if the Clomid doesn’t work he will probably want to do the surgery. I really hope that that isn’t the case and that he lets me keep moving towards the injectables instead of the surgery. Having a blockage wouldn’t have anything to do with my estrogen or FSH levels right? I have no idea.
So I guess all I can do now is wait till my next appointment and see whats up. Though last time they were pretty happy with my follicles until the estrogen numbers started dropping. I’m worried about what false hope that will give me.
- Posted in: Infertility